The Many Faces of Courage

"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow" ~ Mary-Anne Rademacher So true, more often than not I believe this is the case. There are many words for courage. I looked it up in the dictionary and came up with the following: bravery, fearlessness, nerve, audacity, boldness, grit, gallantry, guts, spunk, moxie, balls, valor, determination. And then I began to think of how many situations life presents us with every day where we have the opportunity to respond with everything we've got, in a courageous way. For example. Choosing to do things our way when the world is telling us to do something different, takes guts. Telling the truth in spite of the consequences, takes nerve. Never giving up on your dream, even when things appear to be hopeless, takes determination. Doing the right thing, taking the high road, when it doesn't always feel comfortable, takes valor. Believing in yourself when no one else does, takes balls. Sharing yourself with the world in an honest, authentic and even vulnerable way, takes spunk. Walking out on a limb, doing something you're really afraid to do, with your knees knocking and your hands sweating, takes fearlessness. Being proud of who you are in spite of the fact that others think you're different or weird or even crazy, takes audacity. Offering your gifts to the world, and doing it with everything you've got, in every way you know how, takes boldness. Giving the other person the benefit of the doubt when you know you are right, takes gallantry. Believing you are gorgeous, brilliant, talented, amazing and acting accordingly, takes moxie. Choosing to keep your commitment to yourself and do the work you promised you would do every day, takes grit. Opening your heart again even though you may have been betrayed, let down, even abandoned, takes bravery. So my dear friends, where in your life today will you be bold, audacious, spunky, balsy, fearless, brave, daring, gallant or determined and what are you waiting for? Take care and have a courageous day. By Veronica Hay

What Special Someday Are We Saving For?

My brother-in-law opened the bottom drawer of my sister's bureau and lifted out a tissue-wrapped package. "This," he said, "is not a slip. This is lingerie." He discarded the tissue and handed me the slip. It was exquisite: silk, handmade and trimmed with a cobweb of lace. The price tag with an astronomical figure on it was still attached. "Jan bought this the first time we went to New York, at least eight or nine years ago. She never wore it. She was saving it for a special occasion. Well, I guess this is the occasion." He took the slip from me and put it on the bed with the other clothes we were taking to the mortician. His hands lingered on the soft material for a moment. Then he slammed the drawer shut and turned to me. "Don't ever save anything for a special occasion. Every day you're alive is a special occasion." I remembered those words through the funeral and the days that followed when I helped him and my niece attend to all the sad chores that follow an unexpected death. I thought about them on the plane returning to California from the Midwestern town where my sister's family lives. I thought about all the things that she hadn't seen or heard or done. I thought about the things that she had done without realizing that they were special. I'm still thinking about his words, and they've changed my life. I'm reading more and dusting less. I'm sitting on the deck and admiring the view without fussing about the weeds in the garden. I'm spending more time with my family and friends and less time in committee meetings. Whenever possible, life should be a pattern of experiences to savor, not endure. I'm trying to recognize these moments now and cherish them. I'm not "saving" anything; we use our good china and crystal for every special event--such as losing a pound, getting the sink unstopped, the first camellia blossom. I wear my good blazer to the market if I feel like it. My theory is if I look prosperous, I can shell out $28.49 for a small bag of groceries without wincing. I'm not saving my good perfume for special parties; clerks in hardware stores and tellers in banks have noses that function as well as my party-going friends. "Someday" and "one of these days" are fighting a losing battle to stay in my vocabulary. If it's worth seeing or hearing or doing, I want to see and hear and do it now. I'm not sure what my sister would have done had she known that she wouldn't be here for the tomorrow we all take for granted. I think she would have called family members and a few close friends. She might have called a few former friends to apologize and mend fences for past squabbles. I like to think she would have gone out for a Chinese dinner, her favorite food. I'm guessing--I'll never know. It's those little things left undone that would make me angry if I knew that my hours were limited. Angry because I put off seeing good friends whom I was going to get in touch with--someday. Angry because I hadn't written certain letters that I intended to write--one of these days. Angry and sorry that I didn't tell my husband and daughter often enough how much I truly love them. I'm trying very hard not to put off, hold back or save anything that would add laughter and luster to our lives. And every morning when I open my eyes I tell myself that this is a special occasion. Ann Wells