Personal Reflections - It’s About The People

These days I find that I don’t bother to read the colorful ads in the Sunday newspaper. I also don’t have the desire to wander through the mall or the fancy furniture stores to see what lovely things they have that I may want. When I was a young bride, I wanted all the fun, glitzy stuff, like fancy china, sterling silverware, a big house and a cool car. I forget why I wanted them. I think it may have had something to do with insecurity and the wish to “keep up with” our friends or society’s expectations. Over the years I’ve lost that desire, and now I have no need to acquire things just for the sake of having them. Now my focus is to have a fun, safe, comfortable place for people to gather and enjoy each other. The focus is on the relationships, not the stuff. The bottom line is that it’s always about the people. Family, friends, colleagues and the world community are what life is about. I can have all the wealth in the world, but if I don’t share love, respect and time with others, I have nothing. So this month I’m reflecting on what’s really important to me. It’s always the people, and my goal every day is to show love, caring and compassion, and put more thought, time and energy into reinforcing those connections. How about you? Sandra Abell

Juggle Balls

Imagine life as a game in which you are juggling some five balls in the air. You name them - work, family, health, friends and spirit and you're keeping all of these in the air. You will soon understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. But the other four balls - family, health, friends and spirit are made of glass. If you drop one of these, they will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged or even shattered. They will never be the same. You must understand that and strive for balance in your life. How? * Don't undermine your worth by comparing yourself with others. It is because we are different that each of us is special. * Don't set your goals by what other people deem important. Only you know what is best for you. * Don't take for granted the things closest to your heart. Cling to them as you would your life, for without them, life is meaningless. * Don't let your life slip through your fingers by living in the past or for the future. By living your life one day at a time, you live ALL the days of your life. * Don't give up when you still have something to give. Nothing is really over until the moment you stop trying. * Don't be afraid to admit that you are less than perfect. It is this fragile thread that binds us each together. * Don't be afraid to encounter risks. It is by taking chances that we learn how to be brave. * Don't shut love out of your life by saying it's impossible to find. The quickest way to receive love is to give; the fastest way to lose love is to hold it too tightly; and the best way to keep love is to give it wings. * Don't run through life so fast that you forget not only where you've been, but also where you are going. * Don't forget that a person's greatest emotional need is to feel appreciated. *Don't be afraid to learn. Knowledge is weightless, a treasure you can always carry easily. * Don't use time or words carelessly. Neither can be retrieved. Life is not a race, but a journey to be savored each step of the way. Brian Dyson

How Do You Love?

Yesterday I broke a crystal vase that was important to me. Someone I love gave it to me, and I was really upset with my clumsiness. My husband, seeing my distress, was soothing and calm, and said, "Let me see what I can do with this." While I continued to rant at myself, he quietly took the pieces away, worked his magic and made it like new again. When he brought it back to me his face was filled with sweetness, and it occurred to me that this repaired vase was a gift of love. I began thinking about all the ways he shows me he loves me. Words are nice, but his actions speak volumes, and I'm so very blessed to have him in my life. I then thought of a woman I know who complains that her husband and children don't love her. She says they never say it, and she feels that nobody cares. However, when I look at her family I realize that there is a lot of love being given. She just doesn't recognize it so doesn't know how to receive it. When her husband goes to work at a job he doesn't like, so that she can do what she wants, which is stay home and raise the children, that's a gift of love. When her adolescent son offers to pick up something at the store so she won't have to pack up the smaller kids to go out, that is his way of telling her he loves her. Love is all around us, but we're often like my friend who expects it to come in a specific form. When it doesn't, we miss it and feel unloved. So this month I'm reflecting on being aware of ALL the ways people show me love, and being happy to receive it in whatever form it's given. How about you? Sandra Abell

The Great Challenge of Life

Here's the great challenge of life - You can have more than you've got because you can become more than you are. I have found that income seldom will exceed your own personal development. Once in a while income takes a lucky jump, but unless you grow out to where it is, it will go back to where you are. Somebody once said if you took all the money in the world and divided it among everyone equally; it would soon be back in the same pockets. However, you can have more because you can become more. You see, here is how the other side of the coin reads - unless you change how you are, you will always have what you've got. The marketing plan won't do it. It's a good plan but it won't work without you. You've got to work it. It is the human effort that counts. If you could send a sales manual out to recruit - wouldn't that be lovely? The major thing that makes the difference is what YOU do. In order to have more, you need to become more. The guy says "If I had a good job I would really pour it on, but I have this lousy job so I just goof off." If that is your philosophy, you are destined to stay there. Some people say if I had a lot of money I would be really generous, but I don't have much so I'm not generous. See, you've got to change that philosophy or you will never have "the lots of money." Unless YOU change, IT won't change. Amazingly, however, when we throw out our blame list and start becoming more ourselves - the difference is everything else will begin to change around us. Jim Rohn

You're NOT Alone On That Island!

It is a year of challenge; a year of change; a year of learning that it is time to let go! You may feel like you’re all alone on an island; and nobody understands how you think or feel; but you are not alone! There are more people here than you could imagine .... patiently waiting. There are people who really do care; who want to listen, and want to actually hear you! They can help you to step out of that emotional cave that you may have retreated into. It's so easy to withdraw into what we think is a safe zone; but then we start to live in our heads; and not in the world around us! We think it's safer at first; but then it starts to get very lonely and dark in there; doesn't it ... ? It takes a lot of courage and determination to stick our heads out, and have a look around at who or what might be just outside waiting for us to re-appear .... And it takes a stack more courage to step outside and stand tall amongst the uncertainty of it all .... doesn't it ... ? Far too often people get overwhelmed by the stigma that can be attached to 'not being a 100%' ... If we reach out to people who we trust and feel safe with; then there is no stigma; not one tiny bit of it; and the personal empowerment that begins to take place is often stronger than we could have ever imagined. I see it every day in my work; and I've been in some pretty dark places during my run through life too. Lot's of us have! I've learnt that 'a problem shared is a problem halved'; every time; not just sometimes! The value of talking and sharing your stuff (with someone who actually does care and wants to help); is priceless; absolutely priceless! C'mon now; reach out to that someone who does feel right; and allow yourself to be heard! You'll be so glad that you did! (c) Phil Evans - People Stuff TM - 2012

Living From Gratitude

For most of my adult life I believed that an attitude of gratitude is a good thing to have. As often as possible I tried to be humble and grateful for the blessings I received, but I didn't fully grasp just how powerful a gratitude practice could be until I set an intention to "Live From Gratitude" for an entire day. What does that mean, to "Live From Gratitude?" I decided that I would stay in a grateful state of mind and give deep, heartfelt thanks for everything I did, saw, felt, and experienced that day. From the moment I opened my eyes early that morning, I began giving thanks for everything and everyone that entered my awareness. I thought about each of my family members and friends, and gave thanks for their presence in my life. I gave thanks for my home, my business, my car, my clothing, my health, and my cats. As I moved through my daily activities, I gave thanks for everything I touched, everything I saw or heard, everything I felt, and everything that happened to me - even the annoying and challenging experiences. I gave thanks for our dishes and utensils as I washed them, as well as the water I was washing them in, and for my hands that enabled me to wash them. A few of those items were wedding gifts for my husband and I, and as I washed each one, I recalled our wedding day with joy and gratitude, and gave thanks for my husband and the life we share together. During my business activities that day, I gave heartfelt thanks for my clients and the passionate work that fulfills me and allows me to make a difference in the world. I also gave thanks for the challenges my work sometimes brings, simply because they strengthen me. I expressed sincere gratitude for everything I saw, heard, felt, did or experienced throughout the entire day, big or small, good or bad. Not only did I SAY "thank you" for these things, I made sure to really FEEL the feelings of gratitude and appreciation for them. As I'm sure you can imagine, that was a LOT of gratitude! The results that came from my day of living from gratitude were astounding. It was one of the most powerful days of my life. All day long I kept meeting the nicest, greatest people everywhere I went. My income for that day jumped up to roughly three times what it normally was, without me having to lift a finger to make it happen. I kept noticing awesome opportunities, tools, and resources that would help me grow my business or improve some aspect of my life. Some of these things had been right under my nose all along, but I'd never noticed them before. I received so many great gifts as a result of my day of living from gratitude, but the true gift of that day is the way I felt all day long. Never in my life can I remember feeling so humbled, so blessed, so RICH. Everything around me became SACRED in ways that I can't even describe. Struggle, strain, anxiety, frustration, fear, anger . . . they all just faded away. Everything I saw and experienced was uplifting, inspiring and beneficial. My life was transformed that day, into something that I never dreamed would be possible. I'd thought my life was good before that - but my new attitude of gratitude took it to a whole new level of goodness. That day stands out in my memory as one of the best days of my life. In fact, it was so powerful that I've since adopted my "living from gratitude" mind-set as an ongoing intention. Every day I strive to live from gratitude - and each day gets more and more magical the longer I do it. Try it yourself and see if it doesn't have the same wonderful effect on your life. Wendy Betterini

The 24 Hour Perspective

Not long ago I woke up with a “brown” taste in my mouth and everything started to just go wrong! I remember thinking, “Why is everyone against me!” Then I stopped and thought, “Wait a minute! Not everyone is against me!” I grabbed a note pad and started writing down the names of everyone that was openly resisting my efforts to just live in peace and joy. Three....That’s right - 3 people! Then I thought about how many people were “in favor” of me and supported me in some way. Double digits! Then I thought globally. Most people don’t even know I exist and out of the ones that do know me and have some interaction with me they remain involved in their own lives and are basically “neutral” toward me. Then I started thinking about how out of ALL THE PEOPLE IN THE EARTH only 3 people resisted me and how much time did I spend a day interacting with these three people? On even the worst days I couldn’t think of more than a few minutes of actual interaction. So then I thought about ALL THE NEGATIVE ENCOUNTERS that I had in a single day. You know everything from the guy who cuts you off in traffic to the rude comment by someone I don’t even know. I was hard pressed on even the WORST day to find more than 5-15 minutes of actual interaction with unpleasant people a day! This reality hit me with insight! There have been times when my 24 hour day has been ruined by 15 minutes (and in most cases less than 15 minutes) a day of actual interaction with negative people! How could that be possible? I survived the 15 minutes so why did this ruin my entire day? Even when I was “cussed” and “cursed” the words didn’t hurt me and the curses never came to pass. Everything that was spoken against me was a threat and did not manifest as a reality! How could something as false and “unreal” as a “threat” ruin my day? The answer is simple. The threat got into my own thinking and contaminated my mind. People annoyed me for less than 15 minutes and I annoyed myself in my thinking for 23 hours 45 minutes or more a day and I ruined my day! Now I have learned to put my focus on the positives in my life and to be grateful for all that I have! Life is all about choices. Is the glass half full or half empty? You decide… Jami Sell

The Power of Negative

We all know that the people we hang around with and the conversations we have with them determine a lot of our mental attitudes. If you hang around with positive people, they will always encourage you to reach your full potential, but a negative influence or word can set a person on a downward spiral. We are taught that "Positive" is Good and "Negative" is Bad. But, this is not always the case. Negative can be a powerful motivator if you know how to use it correctly. When a negative comment is thrown a person's way, 95% of the time, the person will react in a negative way. This causes hurt, fear, anger and even destruction. But, just imagine if you could harness this most powerful energy and devote it to something that would promote, build and help the lives of others and yourself. I was reading an article recently on a man who was rejected from riding a rollercoaster because of his weight. He was told he was too big and he would have to leave. No doubt, this caused the man to feel hurt; probably even devastated inside. I would guess he may have even wanted to go home and just hide away from the world, but NO, something inside of him said, "I will not give into this pain, I will use it to motivate me!" Now, this man has set a goal to lose weight and is more determined than ever to make this a reality. He has an overwhelming desire that was not there before. He found a way to use that negative for the positive. Many of my friends that have run for a public or state office have often told me that the one thing that contributed to them working harder and reaching their goals was when someone said, "You'll never be able to do this. You aren't good enough." It was the fire they needed to fight harder and do a better job. It brought them from being the underdog to reaching the top. I want you to try something. The next time a negative comment or hurtful conversation is directed at you, notice that powerful energy that is building within you. Instead of blowing up, hiding away or doing something that could result in harm, immediately focus it on something that will help either yourself or other people. The end result is going to be in your favor and the pride of accomplishment will soon take the place of the negative. Positive or Negative, it's YOUR energy, use it how you choose! YOU have the power! Kip Davis

Real Change Takes Time

Did you hear the one about the country bumpkin who took his family to the big city for the first time? Lost in a strange place, he stopped in front of a multi-story hotel building. Father and son went inside to get some directions. Standing in the lobby, they were looking around for someone to ask. They spied a kind-looking old man with a cane and started toward him. They drew back, though, when the wall opened up for him! They watched in amazement as the wall closed, numbers above the opening grew larger then smaller, and the doors opened again. Out came a young man in confident stride and business suit. "Son, wait right here," said the farmer. "I'm going to get in that thing!" All of us could wish change came so quickly and so painlessly. I'd rather lose 20 pounds with a pill than deny myself extra helpings or desserts and begin to exercise. Some people prefer to saddle themselves with debt to buy a house full of furniture rather than buy furniture as they can afford it or to buy a new car they could easily do without. And so the stories go. We want what we want - now. I even think I see a lot of anger in today's world that is tied to the same thing. Petty people get mad at the good fortune of others. They want immediately what someone else attained over time. Immature people want the recognition and life status other people earned over years, but they want it on a silver platter - today. We laugh at the bumpkin who thought an elevator was a magic box that made old into young, stooped into sprightly, and plain into stylish. Maybe we should be laughing at ourselves. Going to college doesn't make one wise. Driving an expensive car doesn't confer refinement or personality. Living in an exclusive part of town says nothing about the happiness of the people who live in its newest and nicest house. And going to church doesn't confer spirituality. Authentic change in looks, lifestyle, and personality takes place over time. If there is an outcome you'd like, the surest way to achieve it is not to waste your money on dangerous pills or to squander it on lottery tickets. Set a worthy goal, identify the incremental steps necessary to get there, and begin your journey. Know in advance that the wisdom, discipline, and understanding that come from the journey are equally as valuable as anything at its end. Rubel Shelly